Goodness me what could it be?
Another package just for me?
Oh the smell is so great,
I hope mom stops making me wait,
because I’m dying to see what lies in wait.

Oh my, what a surprise!
Barney has come so I may chew his eye!
All I can promise (I’ll give you a clue),
is that the time has come, the killing is due.

Barney Goes to School

There is a rite of passage each stuffed toy must go through before they are welcomed into our family.  Chloe must draw fuzz.  Before Barney was even removed from his traveling vessel, she could just smell  his sweet scent and was so anxious to sink her teeth into his purple flesh.  Once he stepped forth from his cardboard ship, Chloe welcomed Barney with open jaws.   It didn’t take long for his eye to come out and soon after, the initiation process came to a close.  Yes, Chloe did manage to scarf a piece of his right eye, which seems to be a tripawd delicacy.   After Barney successfully completed his rite of passage, I bandaged his head, put a patch over his eye and drove him and Chloe to class.

On the way to school, I told Barney that today was Mardi Gras.  He asked what a Mardi Gras was and I told him it literally translated to “Fat Tuesday”; a day of celebration with excess consumption of food and the like.  I also mentioned that after class we could attend a little function put on by the labs if he wanted to see for himself.  He seemed pleased at the thought, so after a long day of studying and learning, Barney enjoyed some of the festivities that Mardi Gras had to offer.  He made a purple mask (wore a gold one until the other dried), ate some gumbo, jambalaya, cookies etc… Barney said he could get used to living like this.

St. Barney’s Day

The day started off like any other, a walk to the beach with Chloe, when Barney spotted a patch of clovers.  Oh how Barney got excited! He knew it was St. Patrick’s Day and that it would be lucky to find a four leaf clover.   So off Barney went, scavenging the clover patch high and low, trying to find a four leaf clover.

After a substantial period of time passed and no four leaf clover had transpired, Barney sluggishly walked with us to the beach hoping to at least find a penny along the way.  I asked him why he wanted to find something lucky so badly.  He told me that he wanted to be a real toy, like the other ones Chloe had, since all of them can speak (squeak).  Barney continued by saying that if he found something lucky to wish upon, that his wish would come true.  I told him that I could understand his telepathic speaking just fine, but he just mumbled something to the effect of “it’s just not the same”… And so we continued our walk and came upon the entrance to the beach.

We were walking along the beach, picking up some sea glass along the way, when all of a sudden a shark swam up from the incoming waves and snatched Barney’s body!   AHHHHH!!!!!  I told Barney not to go too far into the water!

Ok, ok, so Barney didn’t really lose his body…. In actuality, we came across a rock that said “DANGER” on our walk and Chloe thought it would be funny to bury Barney in the sand underneath.  She told me to take a picture so we could pretend that his head could be used to replace the absent one on Frankenbarney’s body (pictured in a prior KillBarney Tour post).

On the way back from the beach we passed a fountain, perfect for throwing pennies into!  I gave Barney a penny, told him it was lucky, and he threw it in.  He stared into the water, gazing at his reflection and wondering if his wish would actually come true.  And since it was St. Patrick’s day, something lucky was bound to happen…

Barney Gets a Voice

For those of you who don’t know,  Mr. Camo Man’s dying wish was to give his intact squeaker heart to Barney if he ever got the chance to visit!  I have kept it safe since November and was happy to give Barney that extra je ne sais quoi to make dogs want to kill him even more!  And as the poem foretold, Barney got a voice to speak when he is glad!  Barney was sooo happy to become a real toy that he wanted to make a music video! See all the fun Chloe had with him in the movie below.

And as our story comes to a close, I would like to thank Xander’s mom for sending Barney to us.  We sure had some great adventures while he was here! And where is he off to next you ask? What tripawd will be sinking their teeth into Barney soon? I guess you will all just have to wait and see!